I know you hate me but I miss you too
by GoodDifferent
Summary: Finn finally lost it. Finchel.
1. Chapter 1

I had this idea in my head and I think we don't have enough Finn / Rachel Fanfic so here we go =D  
It's the first part of the story =) the other part need to be finish but it's almost done.

Tell me what you think !

_Two weeks early_

_« You really love her… »_ said Rachel

"_Yeah I do"_ It was like Finn just slapped Rachel, well, she would prefer that actually, because that pain will not last…or the pain she was feeling right now wouldn't go away easily.

Two weeks passed since Finn learned the truth, and he was still in a horrible state. He was angry all the time, so angry that people stopped trying to talk with him. And the fact that, Quinn became bigger and bigger every week didn't help. He surprised everyone because he never tried to kick the butt of Puck. Probably containing himself.

Present.

"_I'm sorry"_ said Rachel getting up

"_For what?"_ asked Finn not even looking up at her.

"_I know, what she did, what they did was horrible and probably unforgivable. But I'm sorry everything we tried…I tried and it didn't even help a little."_

He finally looks up at her surprise _"But you can't keep being mad forever at everyone Finn. You need to react, you need to end this, you need to move on"_ he was about to talk but Rachel stopped him _"and don't be mad at me because I said that. You know it's true._"

She left the room that morning wishing that he would get better soon.

But in the afternoon when she came back in the choir room and see him sitting like that morning, like he didn't move all day from that chair. She sighs, she will have to try again. She goes sit next to him, without a word. But when he sees Puck and Quinn enter in the room, he immediately gets up, going around the drums, far away from them. Puck was in front of her so she couldn't see Finn anymore and maybe it was better that way, she was looking the other way when she heard Finn start to yell something.

Finn had seen Puck put his hand on Quinn's belly and he lost it.

"_Son of a bitch"_ he said trying to control himself but obviously couldn't.

He took a flute and threw it at Puck really hard, but Puck pushed himself and Quinn off the way. Rachel takes it on the head, falling from her chair, she didn't understand what was happening.

Everybody froze for a moment before the room started to be agitated; Mr Shue yelled at Finn to go in his office, but Finn didn't move, staring at Rachel and Mr Shue asked Mercedes and Kurt to go with Rachel at the nursery office.  
_"Rehearsals are cancelled"_ said Mr Shue taking Finn by the arms.

A couple hours later Rachel was forced to come home… And missing class was hurting her almost as hard as her head right now. She had to keep an ice bag on her head and to have some rest. Like she could do that, the boy she likes, like really likes, hit her with a flute well no directly at her, but still.

She heard the doorbell clash… That doorbell was higher than usual, or was it her head that was going to explode? She opened the door with one hand the other one still on her ice bag.

"_What do you want?"_ she asked, sounding more angry than she was really was. And that seems to disorient Finn who was speechless for a moment but finally talked.

"_I-I want to apologize for what happen early"_ he said, putting his hand in his pocket.

"_Ok"_ she said coldly starting to close the door. But Finn stopped her _"Wait"_ She opens the door looking at him. _"Look, I'm really sorry, you were the only one who was really nice to me and I hurt you…Literally, but I'm really sorry" _

He stared at her, waiting to see her reaction, she smiles at him briefly _"it's okay"_ he seemed so relieved, that really surprised Rachel she almost started thinking he was about to hug her or she was hoping, she couldn't even tell with that headache

He started to stare at her beg of ice on her head while he got closer.

"_May I?"_ he didn't wait her answer taking slowly her hand away from her head. A red mark was on her forehead. _"Do that hurt?"_ he asked passing slowly his fingers on it _"Noot-not really"_ answered Rachel who, to say the truth couldn't even feel her leg right now. He stopped, slowly putting her hand with the ice bag on her head. And smiled a little at her.

She needed to change the subject. Now. Right now.

"S-o-so, Mr Shue wasn't so hard on you did he?" he smiled at her a little more but didn't say a word. "So, what did he say?" asked Rachel curious and glad to be focus on something else than his delicious and attractive lips he has…

"_Well, for the most part he told me what I have to do"_ he said looking at her…he really decided not to talk…so Rachel insist again _"and? What the first thing you had to do?" _

"_Apologize to you"_ he said like if he was just talking about the weather. But Rachel saw it in a very different way. Very different.

"_You-you came here because Mr Shue told you so?"_


	2. Chapter 2

So first, thank you at everyone for the reviews/alerts/favorite, that really means a lot =) and second, I didn't forget my fic LOL just my beta was sick and couldn't read it, she still can't so I thought I'll post it anyway...so I'm really sorry for the mistake I could make but english isn't my first language.

I don't really like the end, but I'll never know how to finish a fic lol hope you'll like it anyway =)

* * *

_"__You-you came here because Mr Shue told you so?"_

**___

* * *

  
_**

She asked taking a few steps back, looking way more crushed than a friend should be, but she didn't care right now. That wasn't enough to hurt her head; he had to hurt her heart too.

_"Euuh, no! no! not like that"_ he said realizing what she was saying. Oh boy, he was on the wrong road… _"No it's not. Oh shit!"_ he said closing the door behind him while he was coming in the house.

"_Please Finn, I'm tired can you leave?"_ she asked with that little puppy dog eyes she was so good at. He really hesitated a minute looking at the ground before looking at her more determined than ever;

"_No."_ he said walking getting closer to her_ "look, I-I came here, to apologize because I'm really sorry. I mean it."_

"_Like always"_ said Rachel looking away from him, but she could feel all his muscles becoming tight. Maybe she should just listen this time…

"_I –know, I did but that...Doesn't..." _he said trying to finish a sentence that is officiously didn't want to come the right way. _"I came here because I like you"_ Rachel looked at him as shock as she was when he said it the first time _"you are the closest friends I've got right now"…_and here we go again. Rachel looks at the ground, that was always the same speech and she was tired of it. She could take it when he had a girlfriend with a baby on the way…but not anymore. She took a long breath before looking at him in the eyes.

"_I'm sorry, you have to go and-and we can't be friends anymore" _

"_What? Why?"_ he asked, shocked, how did they end up talking about ending their friendship anyway?

"_You know why"_ she said slowly at him before taking a few step back. He looks at her shocked. But he didn't move. And no word could express more right now. Rachel retains her tears, went to the door and opened it. She didn't say a word looking at the ground, waiting for him to leave. In silence, still looking shock he leaves the house. When Rachel closes the door, she slips against it, crying all the tears she has in hers.

The next day, when Rachel went to school, it's like her head wasn't here. She couldn't stop thinking…trying to figure it out…why she did and said all that. That was true, that was hurting her, and that was for the best to end their weird friendship/kissing/feeling relationship. Or maybe that was not. But she couldn't hope he'll come to her, forever. He kissed her and run. He used her, kissed her and disappeared again. And then, they become close friend. But with still that little feeling, when they are close and looking into each other eyes, that temptation. That only little step they could take at any moment. She couldn't live only for that moment to happen again, to remember her that she wasn't crazy. That he likes her. _In that way._ That wasn't good. For her. For anybody. And more the days passed, more she thought that now that he was 'free' and if he really likes her, he do something about it. But he never did. And probably never will. She was sure of that.

She, successfully, avoid Finn that morning. Even if that means, get a little detour to go in class. And now that was time for lunch, she just eats on the bunch in front of the football field. No one was there at lunch. And she didn't count on doing that every day; she is not the type to live for other. But until she figures it out how awkward it's going to be between them, she will do that. When she heard someone walking in her direction, she really wanted to run in the other way. But for an unknown reason she stays.

_"Hey"_ he says to her. She didn't say anything looking at his face, which seems like he thought a lot. And she found that fact funny that she could read him so easily. But that wasn't the time to laugh. She tried to smile at him, but the only thing that came out was a little nod. Her heart tightens in her chest. _"Can we talk?"_ he said not sure if she was going to be mad or not.

_"I mean I talk, you just listen"._

She didn't say anything, getting up, going in front of him. He took that as a Yes.

_"About…about what you said yesterday…"_he started…but no more words seem to want to come out.

He just looked at her. And she couldn't help but hope a little. And that was killing her. When she realizes he couldn't say more, she thought he didn't have the guts to admit to her that he wasn't feeling the same way. So, she took a deep breath, closing her eyes ready to hear what he wanted to say.

She didn't close her eyes for two seconds that she feels his sweet, loving lips on hers but there was gone rapidly. She didn't move. She didn't open her eyes, like if she did he is going to disappear and she'll realize that she was dreaming. She didn't breath for a second. Then she finally opens her eyes, looking at him. He was still there, very close to her, watching her reaction, passing very close to a heart attack. She immediately put her arms around his neck and kisses him again. She feels him smile against her lips and puts his hand in her back, getting as close as he could. His tongue asks for entry and she immediately gives it to him. When their tongues touch for the first time, it's like an electric chock passed through them. And that was feeling so damn good. They break the kiss for air. But Finn put his forehead on hers, breathing quickly. He wanted to do only one thing right now, it's kissing her again. A kiss that's never end.

_"You know" _she starts looking at him in the eyes, smiling and biting her inferior lips. _"You can talk to me like that anytime you want"_. He laughs getting her even closer to him, kissing her quickly before talking. _"Deal"_

He smiles at her; he lends back to kiss her again but stops very close to her lips. _"So, can we talk a little more?"_ he said laughing when Rachel filled the space between them. Kissing him more intensely than never.


End file.
